you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i think i have herpe
just one?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
