Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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