I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize