i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
