Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
