Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
