Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
