And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
