How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
