All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
