yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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