why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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