ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize