at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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