You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
