Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
