i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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