Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
did you just send me my own nude
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
