airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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