I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
