worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
