you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
