he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
