i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize