If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
