I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
