just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
