I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
