their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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