I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
being pregnant is like rehab
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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