Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
