So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
