Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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