Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
