i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
