It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
