He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
