I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
