bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
