you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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