I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize