Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
