I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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