I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
