She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
