Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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