It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
