His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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