im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
