I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
