He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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