if you like me you must not know who I am
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
