Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
