I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
