Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
