He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
This toilet bowl is my home.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
