I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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