Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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