escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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