Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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