just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
