His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
