Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
