Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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