I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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